I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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