Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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