What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
