You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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