i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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