I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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