Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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