new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
