"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Randomize
