Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize