We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
you're hired as official boob wrangler
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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