I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
