The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
