Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize