New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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