i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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