I want to have your abortion
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
