Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
