My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
