Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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