Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
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