I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
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He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
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Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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