My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize