Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
