I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
high people should be assigned attendants
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
