I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
