Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
