so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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