lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
i think im in europe. pls send help
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
