Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
