At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
That accounts for only three of the penises
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
