the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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