Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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