i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
