I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
