So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
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Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
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