doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
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