That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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