member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
