just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
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