So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
