Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
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Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
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Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
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