I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
