It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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