just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
