He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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