considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
