Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
