JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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