spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I pour the whiskey from now on
Randomize
