The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize