I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
