Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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