next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
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