thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
