i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
