oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I'm jealous of your bromance
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
