Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
