How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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