There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
