she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
But break dance skills will only take you so far
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
