thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
21 MILFs That Made The Boys Crazy
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
23 Ladies Who Have Mastered The Art Of Squirting
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.