I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
So here I am, sexting at work.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
