Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Randomize
