the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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