So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
they call him Oral-B. enough said
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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